Entries Tagged as ‘Uncategorized’

April 16, 2009

Gated Community in Brown County Possible Cult Site

ChronicJimmy would like to regale his readers with tales from the Queen City.  While attending a party in Lower Price Hill, he overheard a conversation by a mysterious man in a lovely silk blouse who recently purchased a home in a gated community in prestigious Brown County, Ohio.
OK, so you are amazed that 1. ChronicJ [...]

March 20, 2009

A St. Patrick’s Day Massacre and Sex on the Sidewalk

Well, ChronicJimmy was back in Cincinnati to celebrate St. Patrick’s day.  So he and a few friends were standing outside a famous (and authentic) eastside Irish pub when out walked several interesting characters.
Two dark-haired girls with streaked hair in mini-skirts and green feathery boots were followed by a tall, tatooed white guy in a bandanna followed [...]

March 13, 2009

The Bernie Mac Diet

Honestly, I saw a link today on Yahoo! for the Bernie Mac diet.  Apparently he follows “one simple rule” to keep himself fit and trim.
Hmmm.  There is evidence that when you stop inhaling oxygen and exhaling carbon dioxide you will lose weight.  But it’s an underground kind of regimen that isn’t for everyone.

March 12, 2009

Memo RE: Spreading Rumors That are True, Signed: Da Boss

To:  All Department Managers
From:  Your Fearful Leader
Re:  Rumors of Impending Layoffs
It has come to my attention that a certain individual in the maintenance department has been stating that layoffs are imminent.  As department heads I expect you to control every word that comes out of your employees mouths.  If such control eludes you there will [...]

March 6, 2009

Deters: ‘This is off-the-charts weird’ | Cincinnati Enquirer | Cincinnati.Com

Deters: ‘This is off-the-charts weird’ | Cincinnati Enquirer | Cincinnati.Com
Posted using ShareThis

March 6, 2009

World’s Best Job Opens Up in Cincinnati

Times are tough.  Unemployment is high.  But ChronicJimmy wants to do his part to help his fellow Ohioans keep their spirits up and find steady employment in a very shaky market.
Perhaps you have heard of the job on an island in Australia.  Sunshine, warm weather, blue waters.  Well, let’s face it, only a freak would [...]

February 19, 2009

The Devil in the Belly, A Degenerate French Cardinal, and Late-Night TV

What do all three of these unsettling phenomena have in common?  An obsession with the dark art of ventriloquism.

ChronicJ knew he was in trouble when he flew to Chicago only to learn that his fellow travellers were intending to attend a ventriloquist show at a local theater.  Violins started shrieking and he could see an [...]

February 13, 2009

At the Airport on Friday the 13th

Columbus, OH – Patty DuCake had a plane to catch today.  Not being particularly superstitious, she was hardly aware that it was Friday the 13th.  Sitting in an airport bar, sipping a mojito at 7 a.m., she was thinking about the brave women of the Consortium of Pub-Going, Loose, & Forward Women and their planned [...]

February 10, 2009

Bargains Abound on the Internet

Well, we know the economy sucks.  Fortunately, bargains abound on popular internet trading/selling sites such as CraigsList, Ebay, and FreeCycle.  Other’s desperation makes good deals easy to find for the savvy shopper who’s just been downsized and doesn’t know what to do with all that unemployment cash.  Take a look at just some of the [...]

February 7, 2009

George and Michael Light One Up

Goodness!  There sure has been a lot of pot smoking going on lately!  The half-brother of OFBP got tossed in jail in Kenya for packing weed, and the Heroic Michael Phelps (All Honor and Glory to His Name) hit on a bong with some college kids in South Carolina.  (Or were they barge workers? ChronicJ can’t [...]