“Porn Stars For Christ” Program Begins at Local School

Cincinnati, Patty Du Cake Reporting – An innovative vocational program for young men has recently been instituted at the Union Christian Post Graduate Academy in the Cincinnati suburbs.  
“This is an outreach program as well as a rigorous vocational course of study,” commented principal Long Dong Silver, “in an industry that has been underserved by the evangelical [...]

Does My Big Head Make Me Look Fat?

Hi Everyone -
If you see me on the west side of Cincinnati, please toss me a hotdog.  My owner’s boyfriend is a chef who doesn’t want me to be fed.  I think he might not like me.  But please take pity on me because I am a nice dog and deserve a good, loving home.  My [...]

B&B’s Frequently Run by W.A.C.K.O.s

A friend went to Maine and stayed in what was supposed to be a relaxing B&B.  So just how relaxing is staying in a place overrun by giant spiders, overlooking the local Wafflehouse?  Well, to each his own.  ChronicJimmy personally enjoys dining with spiders and hanging out with the local hoi polloi for a waffle [...]

Photography Inspired by Geographic Envy

ChronicJimmy has always felt saddened by the fact that he can never be as good as those folk privileged enough to have been born on the East Coast of Our Great Country (OGC).
Indeed, ChronicJ had a dear friend who attended that bastion of Appalachian-ness, Ohio University, back in the dear old 1980’s.  What a fun time [...]

ChronicJimmy: Old Enough to Remember When

Michael Jackson was fine, and black.
MTV played music videos, and all the kids at school knew it was oh-so-cool.
Video brutally killed the Radio Star.
Farrah Fawcett debuted on “Charlie’s Angels,” and heads everywhere magically sprouted feathers.
Big ol’ Vinyl shrank into shiny CD’s.
Harvest Gold and Avocado ruled the kitchen.
His transistor radio first trumpeted the glorious strains of [...]

Fringe Energy Creates Vortex in Cincinnati

Don’t be frightened by the Fringe Festival, folks.  Come on Downtown and enjoy the energy.  Performers from all corners of the country trek to the Cincinnati area each year to strut their stuff, to put out something new and different for the public to enjoy.
ChronicJ was sad to see the Cavs lose last night, it [...]

Plant Closing & It’s All Getting Better

Chronicjimmy’s dear Auntie called him this morning & asked him if he had seen the news.  He hadn’t.
“Your plant is closing.”
Oh.  The plant ChronicJ was forced to work at while building his career as a world-class blogger.  Seems like a distant memory…
“So I’m guess you still aren’t doing jackshit,” Auntie commented. 
That depends on your definintion [...]

Patty DuCake Imprisoned While Investigating the Heroin Trade in Shelby, Ohio

A Letter from Walter Cronkite, Esteemed Journalist:
My Fellow Americans,
It is with a heavy heart that I bring to you the troubling news of the incarceration of a fine journalist and heavy drinker, Patty DuCake.  I’ve worked with Patty under a variety of circumstances and have always admired her pluck and willingness to put both her [...]

Kirstie Alley Gnaws Off Own Arm in Attempt to Escape Oprah’s Trap

So, ChronicJ is a big Oprah fan.  Two thumbs up, Gurlllll!
And did you see the recent episode featuring dieters who had all gained their weight back?  Talk about dramatic television!  That’s a lot of tacos going down the gullet!  Goodness!
Now that the lovably goofy Ms. Alley has gained back all the weight she dropped while the [...]

Letter from Lower Price Hill

Gentle Readers, I’d like you to know that the streets of Cincinnati run this way and that, without regard to whether or not you want to get THERE from HERE.  Such is life; a philosophical lesson to be learned.  (Yes, that was a semi-colon.  Get over it.)
Searching for a long-lost relative, half way up the [...]