In a stunning example of fanaticism devouring its own young, millions of hard-as-rock stones rained upon the UN, the BBC, NPR, and the countless number of Western liberals who see no hypocrisy in supporting a gay rights and pro-choice agenda within their own nations while holding up political Islam as a beautiful manifestation of human spirituality.
“We must respect culture that has lasted a thousand years,” shrieked Juanita Smuckeshnott, just as five well-aimed missiles caused her eyes to pop out of her head. Her lover, Misty Noseitall, cried out against the Tea Party as her own noggin split perfectly in two, just like a walnut.
“The stone is an ancient tool, perfectly formed and the most democratic of weapons.” Ironically, these words were spoken on an NPR report a mere 30 minutes before Professor Robert Salinsburger, the expert commentator, got it right between the eyes.
At the United Nations, those who lobbied for Iran to join its Commission on the Status of Women were engulfed by a storm of swirling little pebbles that clogged their noses, slashed their ears, and made mush of what little brains they had to begin with.
“Allah is most wise,” said Imam El Smashface to anyone who would listen. “The decadent infidels have been used by the Most Merciful One, and are now being destroyed. Not to worry; there are always more to take their place.” Whistling at his 6 wives to stand up and follow, Mr. El Smashface had a look of grim satisfaction as he left a busy tea-house in a trendy part of Tehran. “Forget the whole nuclear weapon thing, Mr. Obama. Your people have nothing to fear but themselves.”
